28 March 2007

Kibuye and Kiziba camp

I didn't realise the buses ran so infrequently to Kibuye (every two hours) and only just caught the last one on Saturday arriving after dark. Kibuye is quite small and there were no taxis about, only moto-taxis, and as I was travelling with my suitcase the only possibility of getting to the guesthouse was on foot. After a few minutes walking I was joined by a young man who offered to carry my suitcase for me. Being somewhat paranoid I turned him down but he kept walking with me asking some questions in English and French, both of us struggling to communicate. When I arrived at the guesthouse about half an hour later he said au revoir and turned around and walked back up the hill we'd just come down. I realised too late he'd been walking with me just to make sure I'd gotten there safely.



In the morning I was so glad to have a full day to rest before going to the camp. The views of Lake Kivu were beautiful and I spent several hours walking around the village exploring. Eventually I found a small beach used by the residents to bathe and fish from and spread out my towel to sunbathe. Every few minutes different groups of children would come and talk to me or passersby stopped to stare.


On Monday I met up with some of the NGO staff and set off for Kiziba refugee camp. It was then that I realised Kibuye is small: when I was introduced to a couple of the workers they told me they'd seen me sunbathing the day before! The camp is about half an hour from Kibuye down a road which at times is incredibly bumpy and you can easily invision slipping over the edge in a downpour. It was without a doubt the worst road I've seen in Rwanda, the workers laughed when I said that and told me it used to be much worse.


The stories I heard in Kiziba were similar to those I'd heard in Gihembe: the refugees didn't have enough firewood, food or sheeting and other materials to build houses. They often had to sell the few things they were given so they could provide more nutricious food, clothes and other things for their families. Kiziba also has a severe land shortage and is housing the seventeen and a half thousand refugees that live there on less than half the amount of land they should have for that number. In addition to overcrowding, it means that latrine and shower facilities are stretched thin and there was a real concern of a cholera outbreak in the camp should it be brought in from outside (there are reports of cholera at the moment in nearby Gisenyi so this is a very real threat).


While I was at Kiziba, I met the handicapped women's association (above) who, with the help of a microcredit programme in the camp, make lovely colourful bags and sell them. Since they began they've expanded from just a couple of members to training more than twenty who are now able to supplement their provisions with income from the association. It takes two women a whole week to create the bags which they sell for 6000 Rwandan Francs (about US$12).


This morning I ate breakfast and said goodbye to Kibuye while enjoying views of Lake Kivu and the Congo in the distance.

24 March 2007

Gihembe refugee camp

Many people don't realise that Rwanda is the home of many thousands of refugees stemming from different conflicts in the region. This week I visited one of the largest refugee camps in the country, Gihembe, which is about an hour north of Kigali quite close to Byumba, a Rwandan town with a fairly large population in the middle of a tea growing region that provides jobs for about 60,000 people. Gihembe is home to about 17,500 Congolese refugees many of which have been living there almost ten years now.

Ten years.

There are still regular reports of violence in the border areas of the DRC from which they fled. Despite massive funding cuts and UNHCR's (UN High Commission for Refugees) hope that the refugees will voluntarily return soon, stability doesn't look promising across the border. Especially after yesterday's reports that there has been fighting in Kinshasa and Jean-Pierre Bemba, the runner up in last year's election and the DRC's opposition leader, has been accused of treason. The Rwandan government wants the refugees to return, but after one attempt a few years ago which saw the refugees attacked as soon as they arrived in the Congo and back at the camp within a few weeks, it seems unlikely that they will be convinced as long as their home continues to experience regular outbreaks of violence.



The camp itself is a few kilometers from Byumba, set high on the top of a nearby hill. From the distance you can make out the white sheeting the refugees are given by UNHCR to constuct their houses. Byumba itself is at a high altitude and quite cold at night, the refugees in Gihembe are all the way at the top of the hill and only have the sheeting to insulate them from the rain and wind and thin UNHCR issue blankets to block out the cold. It's rainy season and every night I spent in Byumba the pouring rain woke me up repeatedly. Sleeping under plastic sheeting, most of the time torn plastic sheeting, wet and cold must be virtually impossible.



There were many, many children in the camp, crowds of them followed me around all the time I was there. Some of the camp workers told me that one of the biggest problems in the camp is the lack of food. Refugees are only given very limited supplies of maize and cooking oil and often must sell some of their ration so they can supplement their diet with fruit and vegetables and buy clothes and other necessary supplies that aren't provided. Some lucky refugees have found low-paying jobs within the camps, but many more have to search outside for work and find that their status affects the positions they can take and reduces their pay considerably. Family planning efforts are having virtually no effect in the camps as families purposefully increase the number of children to increase their food rations. A six month old baby is given the same monthly food ration as an adult, many refugees see only the short term food gain in having another baby and not the long term consequences of even more mouths to feed and backs to clothe.



The staff I spoke to at the camp were quite amazing - in the face of hard and depressing working conditions and wages that with inflation get lower each year they are trying their best to help the people under their care. One of things I was told repeatedly was that the scarce resources and status of the refugees within Rwanda makes it very difficult for them to adequately provide for families and that the biggest losers tend to be adolescent girls. Sexual exploitation becomes almost inevitable when the girls aren't given clothing within the camps, their parents can't afford to provide it, they can't work and they have no other way to dress themselves than to find an older man who will buy them things or otherwise prostitute themselves.

A lot of sexual abuse occurs when women and girls leave the camp in search of work or firewood in remote areas. Counsellors told me that in Congolese culture rape is taboo to discuss and therefore many women don't come forward and talk about what has happened to them. They have been working hard to sensitise the community and encourage women to come forward, but this hasn't been help by the refugees status. Because they are not Rwandan, refugees accused of rape will only face jail for a few days before they are let go and return to the camp. There seems to be no way to hold prisoners indefinitely no matter what the crime.

On Thursday, I had my own rather frightening experience of this. When I first arrived at the camp a guy in handcuffs came up to me and shouted a bit and staff led him away telling me he had gone crazy after experiencing the war in Congo. They seemed resigned to him and treated him as if he was harmless so I didn't think any more about it. Thursday morning one of the refugees was leading me through the medical area to find someone I had a meeting with when suddenly she ran through the gate to the compound and it was locked just in front of me. I turned around and the crazy man was running at me shouting "Why are you afraid of me" as I tried to back away from him. He pushed me and kicked me before security managed to grab him and take him away and I slipped through the gate. I thought after that he would have been locked up, but in the evening when I was about to leave the camp he appeared and chased after me again but this time there were more people around that took him away before he could get too close to me.

The next day, after he had been sent to the mental hospital in Kigali, the camp director told me that the guards were afraid of him because he had killed both his parents. The prisons wouldn't keep him because he was a refugee and not Rwandan. He had been sent to the mental hospital in Kigali many times but they always discharged him after a few days and returned him to the camp, she hoped that this time he would be kept there but the prospects were slim.

19 March 2007

my weekend in Goma and Gisenyi

After quite a busy (and thankfully successful) week doing my research in Kigali I decided to take advantage of the weekend and explore the country a bit. I caught the last bus on Friday to Gisenyi, known as a gorgeous retreat town at the top of Lake Kivu, and arrived about four hours later well after dark. Being a bit of a spontaneous decision I had no idea where I was staying and jumped on the nearest mototaxi (the back of a motorcycle) sans helmet and flew off down wet and mostly dirt roads in search of a room. Gisenyi is so close to the Congolese border I found my limited Swahili very useful to ask the cyclist to slow down - pole pole! - which he thought was funny (but he did slow down!).

The first 'moderate' guesthouse I tried was closed. The second had no bednets (not something I'm willing to go without in rainy season). The third was completely full. Eventually I ended up in a Presbyterian church run hostel which was quite basic but clean and much cheaper than the others I'd looked at. It was too late to get something to eat at the hostel, so after stumbling around in the dark nearby I came across a local restaurant serving an almost finished buffet dinner and helped myself to the scraps before going to bed.

In the morning I woke up to rain, rain and more rain. Now, I know this is rainy season, but rainy season usually means a downpour every day or every few days, not all day without stopping! As sunbathing was clearly out I asked around and heard that the situation across the border was stable... I don't think I need to tell you what happened next do I?



I knew Goma was close to an active volcano (it errupted in December and covered the town in lava) - but it was quite amazing being able to see the smoke rising from the top and see just how small it looked because we were essentially on part of it. The hardened lava was piled up all over the place and roads on one side of the town were completely destroyed by the lava flows and the consequential road scraping to clear them. I was only in the DRC a very short time, but it was long enough to get a bit of a feel for the place. Even in a few hours, the sense of chaos across the border was palpable. Rwanda has a large police and army presence, but in Goma men in uniform swaggered all over the place. One of the reasons why I have so few pictures from my visit is my strong desire not to be "interviewed" by one of them and forced to pay a "fine" for being caught photographing something forbidden (and that really could have been anything!).



After a (surprisingly) uneventful border crossing back into Rwanda I spent the rest of my time in Gisenyi walking alot and enjoying the gorgeous views of the lake. On Sunday morning I was lucky enough to catch about two hours of sunshine. So far on my trip every single day I've put on sunblock it's been overcast and the few bright days I've forgotten to do so. Yesterday was not an exception to this and in two hours of sunshine I managed to turn a pretty crispy red colour.



My trip back to Kigali yesterday afternoon turned out to be the most exciting few hours of the weekend. Shortly after leaving Gisenyi the rain poured down in what seemed like sheets of water. Despite passing dozens of cars, buses and transport trucks that had crashed through the occasional guard rail and off the side of the mountains, our driver didn't seem to slow down, let alone stop. The three and a half hours back to the capital were spent almost completely in tense silence on the bus, marred only by shouts from passengers when it seemed we were about to careen into something!

13 March 2007

a short diversion to Butare (Huye)

Over the weekend I went to Butare (now renamed Huye) in the South, a town known as the intellectual centre of Rwanda where the main university is located. The journey took a good two and a half hours squished in the minibus, but the views along the way were well worth the discomfort.

At one point during the journey the driver screamed to a stop, the fare collector jumped out and chased after two kids disappearing into the brush. Eventually he caught up with them and dragged them back to the bus: everyone on board shouted at them for a good ten minutes while they hung their heads in shame. The person next to me explained they'd been caught trying to chip parts of the road off. I have a feeling if vandals were treated the same way in England there'd be an awful lot less graffiti and trash in my neighbourhood!



Though still the third largest city/town in the country, Butare is vastly different from Kigali and feels really relaxed and sleepy in comparison. Butare was the administrative capital of the country for the Belgians before Independance and there are many brick buildings, such as the Cathedral (above), that were built during this time. I spent a peaceful morning in the beautiful National Museum and many hours happily wondering around the town enjoying the lovely views.

08 March 2007

Nyamata

Today was a public holiday in Rwanda. As all the offices were closed I thought it best to take the day off and venture out of the capital to Nyamata about 30 kms away.

On my way to the main bus station a little boy came up to me and asked me for something to eat, so I popped into the nearest shop and bought him some peanuts and chocolate milk. Within seconds about a dozen more streetkids appeared from nowhere and I had to go back and get food for them all - some of them wanted a picture taken so I snapped it quickly and kept walking before any more streetkids could arrive and I would have no money at all left!

The bus station was quite a bit further than I anticipated from the centre, but eventually I arrived (with a few new blisters). I quickly found the right bus thanks to some helpful strangers who thought a pregnant muzungu was one of the funniest sights ever, and climbed in ready to go. The minibus (same as a dalladalla for those that followed the Tanzanian adventures) didn't leave until it was full a good forty minutes later, but the trip to Nyamata was mostly smooth and took less than an hour passing gorgeous scenery along the way.


About half way there an old man got on the bus and says "How are you today young lady" quite loudly to me as he sat down. It's the first thing that anyone on the bus had said to me other than confirming it was the right bus, and everyone turned towards us to listen. He tells me he spent 33 years in Uganda so he has good English and starts chatting to me, asking what I think of Rwanda, and then talks mainly about the genocide and how difficult it is for people to learn to live together now, though they are trying very hard.

When we arrived in Nyamata the bloke next to me asked if I knew where I was going and offered to show me the way. As we walk along he tells me a bit about himself - he's 25 and studying at the university in Kigali. Next week he will defend his thesis and hopes to do well enough so that next year he can begin a Masters programme in Kampala at the big university there. He tells me he has family in the area so I asked if his brothers and sisters lived there.
He replies "No, they're all dead."
And then I said "and your parents...?"
"They are dead too. They were all killed in the genocide, there's only me and my aunt left."


The memorial used to be the church in Nyamata. When the president's plane crashed Tutsis from all around Nyamata gathered in the church thinking it would provide them with a refuge, instead they were slaughtered.

He walks me round telling me about what happened: pointing out the bullet holes in the ceiling, the machete wounds on the skulls, the clubs used to kill people that were left in the vault as a reminder, and the entire time I'm thinking to myself - this is where his whole family was killed.

He showed me the orphanage where he grew up behind the church and the schools he went to. I asked him how he felt about people coming to look at the memorials from overseas and he told me it made him really happy that people were learning from it so it wouldn't happen again.

...sadly, it is happening right now in Darfur.

03 March 2007

a Sunday by the Pool in Kigali

Since arriving back in Rwanda two days ago, I've wandered round Kigali to work out where things are, tried to get back to feeling normal and well rested after not sleeping at all on the long journey here (just about there!) and spent a fair bit of time doing as much research as I can on the NGOs I'm going to try and talk to this week. This afternoon I thought it was a bit too nice to spend the day inside on my computer so I went down to Hotel Milles Collines (of Hotel Rwanda and a Sunday at the Pool in Kigali fame) and spent a couple of hours relaxing and watching the kids swim. It was really surreal to think that almost thirteen years ago the pool I was sitting next to was drained bit by bit to provide water for all the people that had crowded there to seek refuge.

21 January 2007

Essaouira

On Tuesday we had a wonderful day being pampered at the spa and set off for Essaouira Wednesday morning(ish!). After many dodgy African bus rides between us we were expecting to show up and see a piece of crap that would make the journey a bit of a religious experience, but no, the bus looked like a National Express (nicer than Greyhound for the US folks)! We climbed in and two and a half (pretty comfortable) hours later we arrived on the coast.

When we clambered out the bus we were greeted by men with wheelbarrows trying to grab our bag and take us to the hotel. Thinking ourselves wisened and well travelled we refused their 'help' and hailed our own cab which dropped us off about 100 yards down the road at the entrance to the medina (the old part of town surrounded by a wall and off limits to cars). We asked for directions a few times, but found pretty quickly that in Essaouira virtually noone knows English and our French (ok, really Gillian's) was no match for the rapid fire instructions we were given.



After walking up and down the same bloody road about three times we gave up and asked the police, who then asked the pesky guy with the wheelbarrow if he knew where it was and told us to follow him. We couldn't quite explain to them why we *really* didn't need his help, so off we went. About five minutes later we arrived at our riad, and handed over about $4 for the pleasure of the escort, by that time feeling a bit ashamed of snubbing the poor bloke at first.

We dropped off our bags and noted quite gleefully we were the only guests in the place. As a result we got an amazing room - practically two floors with beds on opposite sides of the giant room with a full floor with living room below and step ladders to climb up.

Keen to investigate we climbed the town walls and found amazing views. Gillian was much braver than me and scaled up the wall to walk on the edge and was quickly joined by the kids in the picture.



We found the old square just in time to watch the sunset, it took only about a minute to completely disappear.

In the mornings we had breakfast on the sun terrace of the riad - in one direction you could see the sea crash into the wall, in the opposite the outline of the mountains. It was pretty incredible to watch all the people around carrying on with their lives on the tops of these really tall buildings - construction, farming, relaxing - just about anything you can think of.



One of our best meals in Essaouira was in one of the tiny stalls on the quay. We chose our brunch from the freshly caught fish shown in the picture and they barbequed it for us right there. We loved our time in Essaouira and would happily go back again!

The Essaouira coast

17 January 2007

Marrakech

Last Sunday my friend Gillian and I took off for Marrakech. We didn't really know what we were heading into - just looked forward to warmer, sunnier weather than miserable old England.


The first sight that greeted us was the fantastic mosque (left) next to the amazing Djemaâ el Fna (below) square. The picture doesn't really do the square justice - there seemed to be a million people and a million stalls selling everything you can imagine.





Our first evening we spent enjoying the freshly squeezed orange juice and taking in the square. Watching the sunset on the mosque was a highlight of the trip - that first evening was easily the nicest sunset we saw all week!



Our riad was tucked into one of the tiny streets in the medina (old town) and one morning we found these donkeys resting just around the corner.




















Our last night in Marrakech we spend wandering around the street food stalls in the square. Hassan (right) came up to us and said he was hungry, so we stopped and got him a chicken kebab and chips. He was digging into the food with gusto when we looked over and saw Lissan and Wassan (left and middle) looking hungry on the side - turns out they were with Hassan. We invited them over and all of them had their tums filled, though the guys on the stall thought we were a bit mad!

01 December 2006

Today is World AIDS Day

I'm sure at some point today you'll hear the stats (there are over 40 million people living with AIDS, most of them women, most of them in developing countries, most of them poor) and you'll think that's awful and move on with your life and not think about it too much. The numbers seem so huge you can't put a face on it and you probably think it can't happen to me.

I just spent about 6 months researching and writing about AIDS. A long the way I met Grace, a woman with eight children lying in a hospital ward in rural Tanzania. She told me her story in bits and pieces, her voice a whisper and stopping often, in obvious pain. She had come to the hospital a couple of years earlier for an operation on her stomach which had never healed. Grace had many children and was poor; she couldn't afford to come back to the hospital so suffered at home for a long time by herself. Finally her pain became so bad she had returned a few weeks earlier. She only ate when one of her children brought food as the hospital can't afford to feed the patients. Although she had been given drugs for her sores they hadn't healed and she felt the same as when she arrived. The doctors told me she had AIDS but didn't know: they hadn't told her and didn't seem to be in a hurry to do so. There was no way to treat her, so why tell her she was doomed to die?

I know a lot of you are thinking "but that's in Tanzania, it doesn't happen here," but actually, it does. HIV/AIDS happens everywhere, and the numbers affected are only increasing. Washington, DC has a higher HIV rate than Tanzania: the highest HIV rate in the US. 1 in 20 people in DC are HIV positive. It also has one of the worst records on treatment, and the highest AIDS mortality rate in the US. AIDS is the leading cause of death among young black women in DC.

Please take a moment today to think about the enormous impact the disease is having all over the world. Think of Grace, who will slowly get sicker and die, suffering needlessly because any drugs that could help her are scarce. Think of her eight children, who will watch their mother die slowly, then most likely their father. Think of the older girls, who will drop out of school (if they haven't already) to look after their siblings. Sex work may be the only way they can support the younger ones, increasing the chances they too will become sick and die. The family, already poor, will become destitute.

AIDS can happen to anyone at anytime. One of the reasons the disease is spreading so fast (and it is spreading all over the world) is because women are biologically, socially and economically at greater risk of HIV/AIDS. Traditional prevention efforts have ignored women's vulnerabilities and focused on techniques that require men's compliance, it's no wonder they have had little discernible effect.

Without treatment, millions of familes around the world will crumble, just like Grace's. Without treatment, there is no hope. Without hope there is no reason to be tested. Without getting tested, there is no way to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.

Debt relief, more effective aid, and fair trade will give developing countries funds to invest in HIV/AIDS interventions and fight poverty. Comprehensive and efficient health systems are vital for the poor to access treatment in developed countries. Governments will only support these measures if we, the average citizens, demand that they do so. Through protest, media and civil society action we must force our politicians to fully support effective prevention and treatment options for all, not just those that can afford to pay, and an end to the root cause of the spread of HIV/AIDS: poverty. We have the opportunity to stop the spread of AIDS: we must not let it slip away through inaction.

Please write to your legislators, your newspapers, or talk to your friends about what you can do to help. Think globally and locally: demand more AIDS funding, support local services and protect yourself. You can find some ideas to get you started here (US) and here (UK).

26 September 2006

Torture, part 2

I've just received an email from Amnesty International on the new torture legislation being negotiated between the US Senate and White House. The legislation allows sexual abuse such as forcing prisoners to strip and dance naked as part of interrogations and redefines rape and sexual abuse:

the new bill could make prosecution for rape and sexual assault more difficult by requiring proof of specific intent to commit the crime, something generally hard to prove in cases of rape or sexual assault

I know that governments have secretly sanctioned all sorts of horrible things in the past (and present) but that doesn't make it right. I find it terrifying that the wealthiest most powerful country in the world is taking away the shame that would have previously been associated with torturing prisoners. How can we claim to be 'fighting the war on terror' when we are instilling it?

24 September 2006

Torture

This morning I found an op-ed against torture by my favourite author, Edwidge Danticat, in the Post. As she writes in the column, it's really difficult to comprehend that the 'world's superpower' is openly discussing which methods of torture are ok. As if any method is. Although I realise this post is a bit off topic, I think it's worth quoting in entirety:

Does It Work?
By Edwidge Danticat

Sunday, September 24, 2006;
Page B01

MIAMI A few years ago, as I worked on a documentary film about torture survivors in exile from my native Haiti, I met a young woman who under questioning by a military officer was slapped until she became deaf in one ear, was forced to chew and swallow a campaign poster, and was kicked so hard in the stomach by booted feet that she kept slipping in and out of consciousness in a pool of her own urine and blood. Another woman had an arm chopped off and her tongue sliced in two before she was dumped in a mass grave, miles from her home.

When I met these women, some time had passed since their ordeals. But they could still feel the hammering of the blows and hear the menacing voices, threatening to drown them, dismember them and set them on fire. The younger woman, Marie Carmel, remembers thinking about her mother. Manman will surely die if I'm killed, she thought. I have to stay alive for her. Alerte, whose arm and tongue were severed, kept thinking about her children as she climbed out of the corpse-filled pit and crawled to the side of the road where she found help. Both had no idea how much pain they could endure until then. They wanted to live, they remembered, to defy their torturers, to tell their stories.

"There is no need for torture," wrote Jean-Paul Sartre. "Hell is the other." Those women saw hell and came back. However, neither one told their torturers what they wanted to know. Marie Carmel did not reveal the names of her fellow pro-democracy activists. Alerte did not divulge the whereabouts of her husband, who was the real object of her captors' search.

For many who remember -- just as these women do, and my own parents do -- what it means to live under a dictatorial regime, a regime in which citizens must leave work or school to witness public executions, torture is not just an individual affliction but a communal one. And now, when political leaders in the United States are asking as as a society to consider not only the legal and moral ramifications of torture but its effectiveness, we are brought closer to these regimes than we may think. If we are part of all that has touched us, as Alfred Tennyson wrote, then we are all endorsers of torture when it is done in our name.

Torture aims for a single goal -- obtaining information -- but it achieves a slew of others. For one thing, it martyrizes the tortured. Think of the old Christlike images of Che Guevara's corpse in Bolivia -- or even of Christ himself.

While working on the documentary and researching the novel it eventually inspired, I interviewed torturers as well as their victims. I realized that torture diminishes us all by numbing us to human distress; the level of callousness in the society rises, with once unimaginable acts suddenly charted and rationalized.

"This is why we have this proverb," one repentant torturer told me, " bay kou bliye pote mak sonje ." The one who strikes the blow might easily forget, but the one who wears the scars must remember.

When seemingly noble ideals -- after all, what can be nobler than wanting to save lives? -- lead us to torture, the path to the torture chamber can find its way to our front door, just as it did for Marie Carmel, Alerte and countless others before them.

"The people who kill and torture and tell lies in the name of their sacred causes . . . " wrote Aldous Huxley, "these are never the publicans and the sinners. No, they're the virtuous, respectable men, who have the finest feelings, the best brains, the noblest ideals."

As a child growing up in a dictatorial state, I always dreaded the pounding I heard at some of my neighbors' doors at night, when many were yanked from their beds never to be seen again. The lucky ones returned from a pit that was as much a physical place as a darkness that would always surround them. They were missing an eye or some teeth; they showed swelling that would take weeks to go down or shaking that worsened over time. These markers of torment first drew me to people such as Marie Carmel and Alerte, women who could have been my mother or myself.

When I first encounter men and women who've been tortured, I notice their dramatic and disfiguring scars. But eventually I recognize their hardened core and, more often than not, their reinforced defiance and renewed commitment to that for which they were abused.

When I meet former torturers, they don't proudly stand up and say, "Here I am, a torturer." Unless they're infamous, they have sought to compartmentalize their lives. At a lively game of dominoes or across a family dinner table, they can distance themselves from their past in a way that their victims can never even attempt. Occasionally, though, they are unwittingly exposed by a child who might say, "Papa was in the military and worked in such-and-such prison at such-and-such time." The torturers squirm and change the subject, knowing they've been unmasked.

Rare is the opportunity, as we seem to have now, for the torturer to plot out methods in advance and in public. Should a person be strapped to a board and have water poured down his nose? Should she be forced to stand for long periods of time in the cold without being allowed to sleep? Should he be slapped in the chest, face or belly? These are almost novelistic questions with no more rational answers than some haywire plot or dark verse.

After first reading it as a young girl newly escaped from Jean-Claude Duvalier's dictatorship in Haiti, I recently rediscovered a poem called "The Colonel" by Carolyn Forché. The narrator describes dining with a dictator who, after the luxurious meal, empties a bag full of human ears on the table.

"I am tired of fooling around," he tells his visitor. "As for the rights of anyone, tell your people they can go [expletive] themselves."

He lifts his glass of wine, and with one sweep of his arm, brushes the ears to the floor.

When the ears hit the ground -- like those of all my disappeared neighbors, I imagine -- the narrator notices that some of them are pressed to the floor while others are catching "this scrap of his voice." My fear is that when it is most needed, none of our ears will bother to catch any voices at all. Then will the tortured see any reason to live on? And if they live, whom will they tell?

Haiti1791@aol.com

Edwidge Danticat, a Haitian American writer, is the author of "The Dew Breaker" (Knopf).

21 September 2006

Mandatory testing

I'm in the middle of a mad bout of work and apologise for not posting frequently... can't imagine it changing for the next month or so but I will try to write if I need a bit of distraction.

I was just scanning the Washington Post online and noticed the CDC Recommends HIV Tests for All Americans 13-64. My initial reaction was that's great, maybe regular testing will both normalise the disease and send the message home that anyone can get HIV. Then I saw this:

Patients wouldn't get tested every year: Repeated, annual testing would only be recommended only for those at high-risk.

There would be no consent form specifically for the HIV test; it would be covered in a clinic or hospital's standard care consent form. Patients would be allowed to decline the testing.

and my heart sank. If only people that are 'high risk' are getting tested every year, then it reinforces the notion that you have to be sexually deviant to contract the virus. It also seems really sneaky to include consent in the standard consent form but then only test the people you are suspicious of. Wouldn't it be much better just to test everyone annually?

24 August 2006

Msichana

The reason I had my heart set on going back to Mwanza this year was to see Sabina, an incredibly bright and vivacious little girl I taught last year at Hisani. She was one of the community children that came every day for lessons, though I'm sure she taught me far more than I managed to impart to her. During one of the weeks I was teaching, I switched from doing mornings to afternoons so I could fit in some interviews for my research project and Sabina stopped coming to school because I wasn't there. I can assure you I didn't miss teaching any morning classes after that!

I went back this year to see how she was doing and find a way to pay for her school fees once she got to secondary school. Only primary school is free in Tanzania, though uniforms and supplies are compulsory and must be supplied by the students. Many can't afford to buy them and therefore can't attend school. Only about 10% of the population completes primary school and go on to secondary school. Sabina was really smart and a quick learner, I wanted to help her achieve as much as possible.

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Sabina and me, June 2005

It was too late. Though I tried to find her in the small village the family had moved away. I heard from former neighbours Sabina had stopped going to school to stay home and help the family.

At both of the orphanages I've been to, boys far out number girls. It's much harder for girls to leave a bad home; no matter how bad the home life, the situation on the streets can be much tougher. Joseph told me that when a girl is on the streets she may be a "good girl" for a night or two, but eventually she will have to turn to prostitution to support herself.

The few girls I've come across are much shyer, much more timid. I talked to a friend of mine yesterday who's just come back from a couple of months in Mexico. We agreed that we found it really frustrating how difficult it was to interact with women and girls in the places we've been travelling to. My friend commented that it's so easy to forget how effective conditioning is: when you grow up thinking you are worth less you start to believe it.

All over the developing world, girls drop out of school to stay home and help the family at higher rates than boys. Their chances of working their way out of poverty, of gaining independence, are over before they begin. With education comes empowerment, knowledge and choices. The more educated a girl is, the less likely she is to contract HIV.

...a recent Post article quotes Stephen Lewis, the U.N. special envoy for AIDS in Africa, as coming out strongly against the descrimination of women at the Global AIDS conference in Toronto last week:

Lewis...said another undeniable fact in the battle against AIDS is the inequality of women and how that puts them at high risk of becoming infected.

Women account for nearly half of all HIV-infected adults worldwide and for 59 percent in sub-Saharan Africa.

"It is the one area of HIV and AIDS which leads me feeling most helpless and most enraged," he said. "It's a ghastly, deadly business, this untrammeled oppression of women in so many countries on the planet."

18 August 2006

Reflections

Although my post isn't about the film, I thought the following quote from today's Post was quite apt:

[Heading South] doesn't make the mistake that so many Westerners-in-World-3 make, where they concentrate so fully on the horror of the posh observers, they pass on the horror of the exploited. What happens is horrible, and perhaps its biggest horror is how helpful it is to Westerners. It's a metaphor for the ways we look but don't feel a whole lot about what happens in the world's gutters.

Almost a month on, I'm still processing all that I saw and felt in East Africa. I'm trying to reconcile my experiences with those of of the people I came into contact with. I always feel a deep sense of shame; shame that I am so afluent, shame that I am so impotent. I can't help but cringe when I see other muzungos interact with 'locals' in a condescending, patronising way and then I think - I must be like that too. For the most part, 'we' (Westerners) are 1) ridiculously afraid of being in Africa and 2) completely blind to most of what's going on around us.

It is so easy to come away and have selective memory. To remember the bad things and not the overwhelming generosity. Do you remember the guy that pulled you to the side at the border crossing and tried to scam you, or the one that came up to you quietly and warned you the first one was a scammer? Do you remember the man that grabbed your throat and tried to rob you, or the mob that stuck up for you and chased after him?

There are streetkids in every city I've been to in Africa, there are probably streetkids in most cities in the world, but with such huge numbers of orphans and enormous poverty it seems to be far more overwhelming in the places I've been to in Africa. Even though I've lived and worked with muzungus who care about children, the streetkids seem invisible to most. I think the problem is so overwhelming most people can't think about it. How can you justify having a 6 year old sleep on the streets and beg for food? How do you justify walking by a 6 year old kid that has no food or home? You say to yourself they'll sniff glue if I give them anything and keep walking.

One day I was in Nairobi walking down the street and a little boy came up to me and said (all this was in Swahili) how are you, where are you from, I'm hungry. I asked him how old he was (he said 9 but looked about 4 or 5), what his name was and where his parents were, and chatted to him for a bit as we walked down the street. The other people I'd been walking with hadn't seen him when he walked up to us. I bought the little boy some food and watched him walk off smiling with a bag almost as big as he was, thinking how futile it was. Someone would probably snatch it from him but even if he kept it, how long would it last? Then I remembered walking by a homeless man in Bristol and giving him some change, he thanked me saying "sometimes I think I don't exist anymore, people walk by me without seeing me every day." At least the little boy had been seen.

I know this post seems a bit all over the place, but it does have a message - please see the people around you are just that: people.

This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

-Lazyboy

30 July 2006

The last few days

I'm back safe and sound in England.

So now that's three trips to Africa, no cases of malaria, no other strange tropical diseases or infections (except for the itchy bumps that look like mozzie bites), no muggings, no physical injuries that weren't self inflicted (accidently), no upset stomach, no other 'bad' things... the 'dark continent' is not nearly as dark as people fear.

There are a million thoughts and feelings swirling round my head about everything I've just learned and experienced, but writing about it is proving difficult. Here is a bit of my last days, I will try and coherently express more of what I'm feeling in the coming weeks...

My last week in Africa went really well. I managed to get quite a few interviews at the UN tribunal on my last two days in Arusha through befriending a really nice Nigerian lady - she helped me get my foot in the door more places than I would have on my own! Hearing different departments have completely different responses to my questions made me again question the effectiveness of UN operations, though I think the UN is a good idea, it just needs more legitimacy and (always) more money. For witness support, the UN gives the tribunal a mere $70 per witness per year for medical expenses. In the aftermath of the genocide, giving anti-retrovirals to witnesses is a moral (and logistical) necessity which costs the tribunal $240 per person per month. The massive shortfall is made up through additional fundraising efforts by the already over stretched staff.

Arusha is the launching point for the safari circuit and Mt Kili climbs, not a city you would go to for it's charm. Most travellers spend as little time in the place as possible, so when I returned the hotel staff were really happy to see me. One evening I went out to dinner with Max, a guy that works in the hotel. He had wanted to be a farmer but didn't have the capital, or the land, or the resources to do it and so has worked very hard doing whatever he can. For the past few years he has been working 24 hour shifts at the hotel, earning about $70 a month and spending about half of that on rent.

It seems most of the Tanzanian economy is supported through tourist $$$, yet time and time again I've seen that the more tourists hit an area the more prices are inflated. In Arusha the prices on just about everything are double that of Mwanza, a much larger town with (seemingly) more opportunities for employment but very few tourists. Although I recognise the need for tourism, I can't understand how people who live here manage to survive. The dinner I had that night cost roughly half of my companion's monthly disposable income.

Last Thursday I had a relatively easy bus ride from Arusha to Nairobi and spent the rest of the day becoming increasingly more paranoid as it seemed every shop I went into had an additional locked door and armed guard than the last one. After dark I stayed in the hotel, but feeling rather hungry and not wanting to venture out alone I gave a couple of Congolese men I'd met earlier a call and we went out for dinner. They'd told me some rather impressive stories about their families, which I thought had been rather exaggerated, but when they picked me up in a Jag I had to reconsider.

Nairobi was really cold and a tad frightening. Definitely much nicer than it's made out to be ('the most dangerous city in Africa') but at the same time, it's a bit spooky to be frisked before being able to enter the building where you are changing your flight ticket and walk through two (or more) bolted doors with armed guards to enter shops. I'm not really sure all the security is necessary, but perhaps all the money being spent on security would be better off spent on trying to alleviate poverty so you don't need all that security. The enduring impression I have of the city is that there is quite a lot of wealth (in many respects it seemed a lot like any Western city) and overwhelming poverty just outside. Nairobi has some of the largest slums in the world, instead of trying to help the slum-dwellers, it seems the government's policy is to push the slums back from the city centre and ignore them.

My last night in East Africa was spent with very little sleep. After returning from dinner I overheard the man next door refusing to pay the woman he'd just slept with. She was asking for 500KSh (about $7) for putting her life at risk. The hotel cost about $50 a night, so there's no way he couldn't afford it. My stomach churned as I heard her pleading for her kids and he shoved her out into the hallway. I spent the night thinking about the huge inequalities here: between rich and poor, between tourists and residents, between those that have and those that don't. It's no wonder HIV continues to spread amongst the vulnerable.